I debated this one... Many of you know the dog that is in the picture on my blog. Some do not. Those who do not will only know the pictures.

I really wanted to share this. In my head it makes sense, but if you have read any of my other stuff you know that what's in my head isn't always quite right.

I had to sit down and write this. A lot of you know the therapy that comes with writing. I guess that's what this whole blog is about.

A year ago something happened that I still haven't quite gotten over. So here it is... This was pretty much free flow with no corrections, so please go easy on the critique. Also, please review my request afterward...

there is a dark spot on Anderson
there is a stain that won't go away
a dim reminder of a cold December day
I could have had some patience
I could have had restraint
but all I could think about was sitting down to my plate.

I opened the door and out she ran
she just couldn't wait
do you blame her, it had been all day
I enjoyed the house of mouse
after working hours away
If I knew what was to come, I would have changed my way.

I yelled and cursed her as she ran away
I didn't care at that point it had been like that every day
I sat down my food and heard her barking
I felt something just wasn't right
I ran out the door and called for her
and then felt the coldness of the night.

There she was across the street
barking at the neighbor
I was angry with her, this was not the way she was supposed to act
my dogs were always obnoxious
I swore that would change
little did I know it would

As soon as I yelled for her I saw out the corner of my eye
It was coming, it wouldn't see her
Certainly she would run full speed
she always ran fast when I called
I saw the distance closing in
I knew right then it was too late.

I couldn’t do anything
as your backside continued to run
Your face showed an expression
It was too late, I knew it was done.
Big dog tried to protect you as the neighbor walked up to see what was wrong
But I cursed her too and fell to the ground clutching her collar.

I sat with you on the side of my van and talked to you and tried to tell you I was sorry
I cried, I wept, I frowned
I felt the soft hair of your ears
And remembered them when they flopped when you were young
The time came, it was time to go
I drove you to your last destination, and walked you through the doors

They were expecting us, there wasn’t much commotion
They gave me a moment with you and I said my good byes
I had to fill out the forms, and it had been a long time since I wrote your name
Piper Mexican Sun goddess of all Chihuahuas
You had the last laugh, as the nurse came back through the door
“She has a faint heartbeat”

One year later, my heart still has a part missing
Goodbye Piper…

This picture is probably the last picture I ever took of her.

So here is what I want to know... Do you have a pet in your life that you really miss, or am I the only one with this issue...? I mean, its just a dog right?

I'm getting a little tired of having to post these type of things... There are websites for this... not mine. But lately, these are the only issues I've been having... and I'm sick of it...

http://www.theledger.com/static/flash_video/20061004_matt_williams/index2.html

May you rest in peace Deputy Matt Williams...

Please take a moment and remember a fallen friend.




Please take the time to view and post a reflection at DFC Michael Callin ODMP Reflections.



That is all...



Thanks Scott for the photos.

I'm so angry right now. I don't even know if I should post this. I'm afraid I might come off a little mixed up. I might say something I might regret. Here... Read this...

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orange/orl-locmdeputy02080206aug02,0,2243296.story?coll=orl-home-headlines

Yeah that's right. More violence... no, I mean... more senseless violence against my friends... my co-workers... people I know for crying out loud.
See here's the thing. The freakin media mixed with the public is driving me nuts. You thought I had issues before.

I tried avoiding watching the news because its no longer the facts. It's all about the things that makes the news. Even if its the things that aren't news. Ok, well maybe it is news, but it ain't worth reporting folks. For instance. Well... Let me back up for a minute.

Michael Callin.

Young guy. First met him when he worked as a dispatcher for our agency. Man, I thought he was just a little smarty pants. He came out of work one day with that grin, revin the engine on his car just being a normal kid. I remember thinking, boy you better be lucky I work with you. Now, keep in mind, he wasn't doing anything wrong, but being 10 years older than him, I wasn't impressed by his youth. I was to find out with time, that Mike was just a happy go lucky guy. Always with a smile, always in a good mood.

Then he became a full sworn man in green. I started to realize what a good kid, no wait, man, this Michael Callin was. It didn't matter if he was listening to people joking around or getting his butt chewed, he still had a grin on his face. He loved his job. I began to notice other things about him too.

He was a good man. I never met his wife. I know, though, that he was truly in love. When he was on my squad, I could see the sparkle in his eyes when he was talking to her on the phone, and this was before they were married. He wasn't afraid to tell you who he was either. You knew he was a God fearing man, and he wasn't ashamed of that. I lost track of him after time, he went to other squads as did I.

I remember two days before it all came down around us. I heard him on the radio out in Bithlo. He was on a perimeter for some run of the mill something or the other. You wouldn't know it though. He was Johnny on the spot. I thought... that sounds like Mike... but he's in Motors now? and what's heing doing in Bithlo!!! I thought... good ole Mike... still sounds like he's a first day deputy. Loves his job.

So two days later I'm on the phone with our dispatch asking for some information. The dispatcher seemed a little preoccupied. I didn't mind, they work hard and are usually busy and understaffed. I called back and the dispatcher apologized for the disconnect and said "can I call you back, one of ours got hit". I quickly said "yes, yes, go, no problem" and hung up. As this was happening someone was trying to chime in on the other line but I didn't answer. Then it hit me. One of ours got hit. I dialed my coworker curious about the call I missed. He said, "Mike Callin got hit, do you know him?". Memories flashed through my mind. Now this is what I thought of. A good man, a man of God, a family man... certainly nothing will happen to him. He will be fine, just some broken bones, back on his feet, no problems. Then reality struck me. Where is he? I then went to the hospital.

I began to learn of the incident details and began to think the worst. I am a reality person. No sugar please, I will take it black. We stayed at the hospital through then night. Each update progressively worse. I remember praying, "God, I know he might not be able to continue as a deputy... but that only means you have plans for him, a pastor, a youth leader, a counselor, a..." All of you that know about the bigger picture know what I'm talking about. Then, toward the end of the night... it just didn't feel very positive.

That night in the hospital was surreal. I think we all knew how bad it was. We all tried to "deal". In our cop ways we made light of things, talked about everything, tried to keep our minds off of the here and now. It didn't work. I still didn't sleep that night. Well, ok, two hours.
The next day I know I tried not to think about the reality of it all. I tried to work, but it just didn't, well, work. I finally said wat eva, and went to the hospital. As we waited for more doctors to check on Mike, I think we all knew but wouldn't admit, that things weren't going our way.

When they gathered us ALL outside, I didn't like the feeling. Our boss spoke, and gave us the news. I just stood there. Then I cried. But mainly, I just stood there. Then I clinched some of my fellow brothers and sisters and held them tight. It's getting to the point now you need to, or you will wish you would later. I wish I would have called Mike on the radio the night I heard him, to congratulate him on being with Motors. But I didn't. Strange regrets come to mind. Then it began to really sink in. Then the anger hit. Then I thought about what happened over the last few days.

Some stupid JACKASS has nothing better to do with his life and do what, run over a GOOD MAN for NO REASON... That same JACKASS has been arrested many many other times and is still out on the street... taking the life of an innocent man.

Jesus can forgive that man. Right now I'm having a hard time doing that.

Last week I talked to Mike's dad, and told him what a good son he has raised. He is Dave, he is.

I told you this would be a little mixed up. I know by now only a couple people read this, so, it is like a stress relief for me anyway. But if you do read this... Please take a moment to go here:

http://www.odmp.org/officer.php?oid=18417

And then take the time to thank a good and Godly man for his service to the community by posting a line or two. It will be the best few minutes you spend on the internet.

Now... the thing that really set me off... why I have major issues about the media and the public... This is how bad things have gotten in our society.They were interviewing people that were "inconvenienced" who couldn't get through in traffic after the JACKASS ran a Deputy over. They were talking about how expensive the manhunt was for the "alledged" killer.

I got news for you people... if you felt "inconvenienced" because you had to wait an hour in traffic... think about how "inconvenienced" the Callin family will be for the next... let's say, REST OF THEIR LIVES. And to the media putting a price tag to the capture of the "alledged" killer... I don't even want to go down this path of dealing with why you think it's important to address the cost. And their ain't no alledged to it. I'm tired of that. Someones dead folks, it ain't an allegation... it's fact. And that someone was a good man.

Mike... I don't know how you kept smiling. But you did. I can only hope to take a little from you, to remember you for those things, to want to be a Godly man like you were.

Say a prayer tonight. Hug your family, your kids if you got 'em. When you do, remember there is a father, a mother, a sister and a wife that won't be able to hug one man who was just trying to make a difference.

I was talking to my wife the other day... Ok... Stop there. I know to some of you it might seem unusual to hold complete conversations with their significant other, but it happens. Hey, its an issue...

Anyway... I made the comment that I would probably cry if David Gilmour were to die (he's in the band Pink Floyd for those of you that don't know). Right now she is still working out the details on how she is going to use this information in divorce proceedings to prove my insanity.

So... I want to know... Other than family and friends, who would you cry about if they died?

Please don't tell me I'm the only one with this issue...

Recently a deputy in Florida was shot by a drug dealer while he was trying to apprehend the drug dealer. The deputy was left paralyzed, and was almost killed. The trial for the drug dealer ended in a hung jury. The jury decided that maybe another officer shot the deputy. That might be an argument if the deputy died and couldn't testify. But the deputy is alive, and testified to the fact that he saw the drug dealer point the gun at him, shoot, and was shot. It's a sad society we live in where a jury doesn't believe a deputy on the stand... now in a wheelchair. But I'm not the only one with issues like this, thank God. Here is an email that is circulating around Florida...

I was so pissed as I was driving home from school tonight and learned that the jury was dead locked in the trial where the drug dealer shot the deputy. I am taking a few minutes to bitch to someone other than you people who don't really have much choice since you have already read this, but I would hope some others will speak out in whatever manner you feel appropriate. It was a knee jerk reaction, but I sat down and briefly jotted down my thoughts and posted an editorial on the Sentinel's web site. I will continue to do the same everywhere I can find a place to post it. I wish I could write a little more scathing / direct message, but I'm afraid it won't get printed as they review submissions and decide what to post, big surprise...

Scott

My post from earlier ...

This is a very sad day for this country, our law enforcement officers and the entire criminal justice system. I was not on that jury, I didn't hear the testimony but I do know the facts. A worthless drug dealer stuck a gun in the face of a sworn law enforcement officer, doing his job trying to serve and protect the citizens of a County in Florida. That worthless human being drug dealer pulled the trigger and tried to kill the deputy. The deputy saw this happen with his own eyes. How is it conceivable that any jury anywhere could not draw the conclusion that the drug dealer with the gun was attempting to kill the deputy?? This is a complete travesty and truly makes me question the very system which is supposed to protect us. There is so much more that needs to be said about this, I only hope my fellow citizens will have the tenacity to say what needs to be said at a very important time such as this. Thankfully, the deputy is alive and able to testify on his own behalf. It appears a jury is not capable of comprehending what that drug dealer is capable of doing to a law enforcement officer, not to mention an every day citizen.

Yeah, I got issues... and so should you...

I gotta share this... You might think I have issues... but an entire company? This actually happened to me a couple years ago but I kept the email around for entertainment value. You see... I had cable TV forever, and it was never really very good. It made me feel like I had no choice. A friend of mine has a Satellite TV business. He turned me on to it. I didn't really think I could ever afford it. Well, I did some math and figured out it is actually cheaper. So, after the last straw with the cable company I switched. But I didn't just drop them like that. I actually tried to reconcile, to see if they cared. They didn't. After not having my phone calls returned and my emails returned, I sent them this. I know this is long, but I broke the key board typing it! Since they would never respond to my complaint emails, I figured I would label it something they thought was positive. So, the subject line read "THANK YOU".

Enjoy!

> To whom it may concern:
>
> Thank you for being rude to me when I would call.
>
> Thank you for being rude to me when I would go to your
> East Orlando Office.
>
> Thank you for hiring rude customer service employees
> such as Ms. Ortiz at the East Orlando office.
>
> Thank you for not caring about customer retention.
>
> Thank you for dropping the Sunshine Network.
>
> Thank you for having the attitude "we are your only
> choice".
>
> Thank you for the time spent waiting for your service
> techs to respond to install, or repair service, with
> no explaination of their delay.
>
> Thank you for charging an arm and a leg for redundant
> entertainment packages.
>
> Thank you for having fuzzing channels in the 60s and
> 70s area of the dial.
>
> But thank you most of all for not responding to my
> last email, showing you truly do not care what your
> customers think, or feel.
>
> Without the above mentioned problems, I would have
> never discovered the truly wonderful world of
> satellite TV reception. I haven't sat in front of my
> TV this long since my parents pushed away the black
> and white TV and plugged in the color TV back when I
> was a kid!!!!
>
> Very Sincere,
> Former customer, Michael xxxxxxxxx
> Former Account number xxxxxxx-xx
>
> PS You still owe me money as I had paid in advance for
> your service.


By the way, give them credit. They did give me the money they owed me! I love satellite! So, did I have issues, or did the cable company?