Smelling issues... I have 'em. I have to smell everything. I'm not crazy or anything, I don't have any weird fetishes. I just have to smell.

I take off my shoes, I have to smell inside. I take off my socks, I have to smell. I pass gas... you guessed it... I have to smell. It's not that I enjoy the smells. I once passed gas and took a whiff, then took another just to confirm that it really did smell that bad.

My wife cringes when I smell things. She thinks I'm crazy. Maybe I am, I don't know.

Have you ever scratched under your arm and then smelled your hand? I have. I'm not that obvious though. I'll scratch with two fingers and then pretent to itch under my nose... But I'm not really itching my nose, I'm checkin' out the smell. That occasional itch from down under, you guessed it. I'm not proud. I'm not embarrased either.

Here's what's even worse. You know those cannisters of pepper spray? You guessed it, gotta smell it. I only do it once in one sitting though. Usually causes my snot to run and ruins smelling for a bit.

Most people look at the date of milk and go "ummm not today friend". I still have to smell it.

Listen folks I've tried to resist, but it doesn't work. I've walked away from it only to return. Bottom line, if it stinks, I've smelled it.

Like I said, I have issues.

I have a lot of issues... but recently I have one that really set me off... I shared this with some co-workers, but they seemed uninterested... so I am sharing this with you...

So I'm in the line at the grocery and I have two boxes of microwave popcorn. My wife doesn't like the heavy butter so I get one box of light butter and one box of butter lovers... As usual, some bonehead in front of me needs a price check. So I'm stuck... I'm past the mags but not quite to checkout. I had nothing to do. So I read the popcorn boxes...

Did you know... The ingrediants in the light butter box contained... butter. The ingrediants in the butter lovers contained no butter. To add insult to injury, the light butter box contained soy, milk and egg... What the hell... If I wanted milk and egg I would eat breakfast... But the atrocities didn't stop there.

I looked at the Nutrition Facts, the RDA... There was a category for "popped" and for... are you ready for this... "unpopped". That means some poor bastard somewhere felt that it was necessary to add the "unpopped" RDA percentages. So did someone along the way crack open a bag and start eating the kernals and say, "I wonder how much of this #$%^ I gotta eat to meet the recommended daily allowance". Did they get sued and have to add it. Is there someone out there that is so anal that they felt it was necessary...?

Like I said... I have issues... The nice lady behind me didn't care, the cashier rushed me through when I tried to explain my issue, and my wife told me to take out the trash while rolling her eyes... Someone has to care...