I got issues. There's no way around them. So here's my latest. I have recently decided to grow a beard. I know. It seems impossible. But it it isn't.

So I have this sorta kinda beard. I like it. It makes me feel, well, different. I've been told I look homeless. It's possible. My wife has made threats. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? But yet I digress. Must be the ADD...

I'm sitting at my office yesterday pulling on my beard and mustache. I get this tickle in my nose. I reach up and grab hold of a few and pull. I gotta do this. Some people get good looks, like a nice chisled jaw bone from their dads side. I got nose hair. So I grab a branch and pull... I kid you not this sucker was almost a half inch.

But this isn't the issue that I have. It took me a while to figure this out.

So I look at this thing and admire it. Sleek jet black, sturdy, almost like wire. I had to show people. How would I keep from losing it? I finally decided. I stuck the thing between my credit card and my license in my wallet. Between the static and the remains of the goo that binds I wouldn't lose it.

First person I showed... My wife...

And that was all it took...

I still have it. Oh yeah. But I don't think I should show it off. I want to, but remember that whole homeless thing? I kinda like it inside during the winter.

Like I said, I got issues.